This Newsletter is off to a Great Start in 2026

We're here, we're queer, and we stan gay hockey romance.

January 15, 2026

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Queer Romance and Me

I have a slight tremor that gets worse when I drink too much caffeine or get nervous. On my very last romantic date my companion asked me about it. I was nervous, the tremor was noticeable, and she was concerned. I panicked when trying to explain my tremor, which just made my anxiety that much worse. It was an awful time on what had been an actually pretty good date (up until that moment), and then she said, “if this doesn’t work out, I would really like to be your friend.”

So, for that and a variety of other reasons, I gave up dating. I canceled all my accounts on the dating apps and told everyone I was taking a break. That break lasted years. And I have no regrets! I love being by myself. Until Heated Rivalry came into my life. 

First, I saw the gifs. And they were hot. And then I watched the show and it was even hotter. But you know what was even better? When Shane looked at Ilya with absolute longing in his eyes. When Ilya made fun of Shane because he couldn’t deal with the fact that he liked this hockey nerd so very much.

God, the yearning! The denial! The butts! Those gorgeous men enjoying each other’s bodies while also forging a relationship with each other, making me feel real things about queer joy and love. It’s not just about the sex. Or, better said, the sex is part of the way these two communicate when they don’t have the words to say to each other. Their desire, their intimacy, is a language of its own and one that is fulfilling to my soul.

Suddenly, and very confusingly, I’ve been contemplating letting romance back into my life. And not just in the fiction I consume.

I don’t know what to do with these thoughts.

I’m gay but I don’t read that much queer romance. I find contemporary stories too realistic to get lost in the fantasy of romance. I’m more critical, less tolerant of plot holes or poor characterization, and all around not fun to be around when I read them. Coming out stories are the worst, with their emphasis on overcoming homophobia and bigotry— it hits too close to home. And with historical romance, I spend too much time worrying about someone getting thrown in jail or Bedlam to enjoy the story much. I do still buy queer romance novels because I want to support queer stories but I hardly ever read them. It’s easier for me to read queer horror or fantasy genre books, even though characters are not guaranteed happy endings in those.

Shane and Ilya get a happy ending and maybe it’s just me with a bad case of heart eyes (😍), but I’m inspired by that in a very real way. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being alone. But maybe, I don’t have to be alone all of the time? Maybe I can make room, in my heart and in my life, for another person. Shane and Ilya fall in love without any tragedy or trauma. Yes, there is anxiety and angst, yes there are real consequences of their love for their lives and careers, but nothing is insurmountable when they choose each other. Maybe I could have the same. 

I’ve been reading queer romance novels this month and loving them. All my previous issues have just melted away. Something about the way these queer characters choose to love each other despite the numerous obstacles in their way, like homophobia and bigotry and also like misunderstandings and bad meet cutes and all the trappings of a romance plot, and still get a happily ever after, has changed me. I think it’s for the better. 

We’re all at the cottage and it is absolutely glorious.

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To the Books!

Here’s what happens when I get obsessed.

Books Added to my Wishlist Immediately Downloaded to my Kindle

Books Read

And then there was the Game Changers series by Rachel Reid, the inspiration for the Heated Rivalry TV show. I gobbled up the books, reading well past my bedtime and in every free moment I had. I read some books two or three times in a row. Some of them were great. Some were just ok. But I’m best friends forever with all of them for the rest of time.

Game Changer: Scott and Kip are the best U-Haul Lesbians ever, just in love with each other almost overnight. 4 stars.

Heated Rivalry: I read this book three times and each time I got to a point where if the two dumb-dumbs didn’t start communicating their feelings, I totally would have peaced out of the book. But then they do! And it is great! 4 stars.

Tough Guy: Even though all the ingredients of a love story were there, I found the execution of Ryan and Fabian’s relationship lacking. 4 stars. 

Common Goal: Kyle and Eric’s main conflict was miscommunication and misunderstanding, my least favorite source of conflict in a romance. One solid convo and the book would have been much, much shorter. 3 stars. 

Role Model: One word: Troy. Another word: Harris. Troy + Harris = my heart squeezed completely dry. I had no idea Troy’s journey from secretly-gay-homophobe to self acceptance and love was the story that would get me right in the feels. 5 stars.

The Long Game: Exploring Shane and Ilya’s relationship, seeing them together and in love and willing to actually talk about things, is so soul-satisfying. 5 stars. 

Books I Gave Up On

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Cat Pic of the Month

Pumpkin normally isn’t much of a cuddler, but who can say no to a handmade crochet blanket in a nice, warm lap?

That is an A+ cat nap.

I made this blanket 15 years ago while going through a bad breakup and also high on percocet after gallbladder removal surgery. I was also really into K-dramas at the time. Let me tell you, crocheting while reading subtitles is hard. Doing that while on percocet? Crying over your ruined love life? There are quite a few mistakes in the pattern. But it’s the cats’ favorite blanket now. Wow, this is some real live, laugh, love shit.

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Show Me the Noods!

Some of you may recall my 2026 resolution was to eat 6 new-to-me pasta shapes. I am well on my way to accomplishing that goal. I give you…

a bowl of trumpet shaped pasta in a tomato cream sauce with sausage.

New Year’s resolutions are so easy, pfft.

Campanelle pasta! Also known as little bells or trumpet pasta! And it was delicious. I sautéd cherry tomatoes and italian chicken sausage and then added Rebel Cheese’s tomato herb fromage to make an amazing cheesy sauce with no dairy at all. Yay, lactose intolerance!

In Conclusion

Two hockey rivals falling in love really got me to a vulnerable place. Stay tuned because I just might download a dating app again. And I am ok with that! It’s good to open up to the internet occasionally. Telling strangers about my fear of intimacy is totally cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Love, Marcella